A Million Bucks

I'm feelin' like a million bucks today.

It's not because I have a million bucks...or anywhere close to it.  It's not because the sun is shining and the day is beautiful, the temperatures perfectly crisp but not too much.  It's not because I look like I want to look and weigh what I want to weigh. (Does any woman?)  It's not because I live in the perfect house with every feature my little heart desires.  It's not because I've got it all together and all of my ducks are in a row.

I feel like a million bucks today, simply because I know I am loved.  I am loved by my Father.  I am loved by my husband.  I am loved by my son.  I am loved by my family and my friends.  Really, when it comes down to it, does anything else truly matter in life?

~*~*~ blissful sigh ~*~*~

Pleasing and Honorable

The other day I read a verse that really stuck with me.  I've gone through phases in my life of posting scriptures around the house and apparently I am there again because this is currently hanging above my sink:

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

- Psalm 19:14 (NIV) -

I'll be the first to admit that the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart have not always been pleasing to God.  I'm human...and I struggle at times.  Whenever I see this scripture, I try to pause and truly consider if my heart is right and pleasing to Him.

I woke up before my boy this morning and realized it was the perfect opportunity to have some quiet time and read my Bible before starting the day.  (Side note: What an amazing day it's been!  Imagine that...start your day with God and it turns out to be wonderful.  Huh.)  Anyway, I was reading in 2 Timothy and came across this:

In a wealthy home some utensils are made of gold and silver, and some are made of wood and clay.  The expensive utensils are used for special occasions, and the cheap ones are for everyday use.  If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use.  Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work.

- 2 Timothy 2:20-21 (NLT) -

"A special utensil for honorable use"...the mere thought of God seeing me that way really opened my eyes.  It stirs my heart every time I think about it...how does God view me right now?  I think He's trying to get a point across to me, what do you think?

Still Laughing

On a lighter note, if you read our "other blog" then you've seen this.  If not, you're missing out because I'm still cracking up at my son.  We were looking at pics from the Balloon Glow the other night and discovered just how infatuated my boy is with balloons...

Happy Place

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”- Romans 12:2

If you've never been to the site, BibleGateway.com has a "Verse of the Day" each day.  The hubby leaves it open for me after he leaves for work in the morning and today, I've left the tab open for myself all day long because this scripture is really working on my insides today...but not in the usual way.  


You see, I struggle at times.  Literally - just a couple nights ago - I asked my husband if we were doing the right thing because it seems like every time we have more paperwork to do or more to discuss, it ends up in an argument.  (He reminded me it was like this last time too.)  My brain automatically assumed that maybe it meant we were out of God's will.  In reality, it's my head that is the problem.  You know, the one that thinks things through a little too much.  The one that blows things out of proportion when they don't need to be.  There are people all around me who are pregnant.  We're so excited for every one of them...but no matter how hard I try to tuck them securely away, the same feelings of "why not me?" still come to surface from time to time.  (To any pregnant people I know, please don't feel bad and please keep reading...I have a point.)


What's stirring in my heart today is the part where it instructs me, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world".  (I'm probably taking it way out of context, but bear with me -- it's bringing me to a "happy place".)  Anyway, what I'm realizing is that I've totally been conforming to the pattern of this world.  Once again, I'm not being honest with myself and accepting that the "normal" way of having a family may not be God's will for us, that He has other plans and other children that He needs us to care for as our own.  (I've been here before...you'd think I'd learn!)  I'm not sure how I'm going to "test and approve what God's will is" but I do know for a fact that it is good, pleasing and perfect.  (Just look at my son!)  


So I'll continue to walk blindly in faith, trusting the entire way that He will show us if we are to redirect.  Until then, I trust, with an excited smile on my face as I wait to find His will.  

Short Hair

After 21 months of growing my hair out and keeping it long(er), I've done it.  I went short again.  Less than 24 hours later after losing (I'm guessing) 3-4 more inches, I'm already finding many benefits:

1) You use less shampoo and conditioner, thus saving money because your bottles last longer.

2) No hair loss while in the shower.  I was previously at a length where it was coming out by the handfuls and I was sure I was going to be completely bald by Christmas.

3) No need for a towel on your head after a shower.

4) Faster dry time, in theory.  My hair is still just as thick but since it's not as long, surely it takes less time.

5) It forces me out of the standard "stay-at-home mom look" of the ponytail I have been sporting nearly every day for a year and a half.  (I hope I feel this positively about this aspect in a few weeks when the newness has worn off!)

6) I feel like a new woman...and let's be honest...that's one of the best feelings a woman can have!

Thanks again, Keri -- I love it!

(P.S.  Steph, here's a non-sappy post like I promised.  If this one made you cry, then we need to talk.  LOL!)

UPDATE:
So...I've gotten some grief from a few people for not posting a picture.  Truth is, I'm a little insecure about the cut since it's my first day fixing it so don't judge too harshly.  Also, no -- my hair is not red.  I'm just in a dimly lit red room which makes it look that way.  :o)

Little One

Hello, little one.  I do not know you yet, nor do I know when or how you will come into my world, but I am your mommy.  I have to admit, I'm a little nervous about you...well, not really you...more like, me.  When your big brother came into our lives, I knew to expect some major changes as I suddenly became a mom.  This time, I feel like I should know what to expect.  But I don't.  In all truthfulness, I'm scared to death...maybe even more than when he arrived.  The thing is, I don't want to fail you.  Either of you.  I think it's just my insecurities surfacing that makes me feel this way, for there are days that I find myself thinking "I can so do this 'mom of two kids thing' ".  Today must not be one of those days.

I know that when you come into our lives, it will be according to God's perfect timing and the plan He made for us.  I know that this perfect timing also means that I will be ready.  I will be able.  I will be fine.  I also know that this timing can not be swayed.  I get myself all worked up as I realize the days that have gone by where I have avoided the paperwork I'm knee-deep in to pursue our walk toward you.  What I have to remind myself of (right now) is that God is in control of His plan -- imagine that.  No matter how many days I procrastinate on those questionnaires that require me to really think, God is holding you "aside" for us.  You will not belong to anyone else who may have gotten there first because already, you are ours.  That last thought touches my heart.  You are already ours.  Amazing.  I think I'll stop to reflect on that for a while.  (Thanks, God!)  *tears of joy*

Good Bye, Old Friend

We said good bye to an old friend this weekend.  More than just a friend, really.  Our first object of affection other than each other.  The one who taught us to consider something more than ourselves as we lived our lives.  The one who showed us how to care for another living being.  That one is our Bailey Dog.

You came to live with us when you were so little, you could hardly walk on your own.  You will be 8 years old at the end of November.  Eight years is a long time.  Today is my first week day at home without you here, and I find that I miss you like crazy.  I keep waiting for you to come in the kitchen when you hear that I could possibly be cooking.  I wait for you to show up under the table to clean up the floor after the little one eats.  You never come though.

I don't know why you couldn't make the adjustment to having kids around you, but the decision had to be made.  He wanted to love you so much but you didn't want anything to do with him.  You were one of the reasons why she picked us for him.  It could've been so great for all of us...but it wasn't.  It was a constant time of stress and I'm sure you felt it too. Our children have to be the priority.

We will miss you more than I told myself, but I still know it's for the best.  I suppose these feelings all won't disappear overnight but it sure would make things easier.  You were a great dog to us and no other will ever compare.