Teaching You

I often wonder, even worry, about the things I'm teaching you.  I see you mimic me all the time.  Sometimes it's a simple chin tap while saying, "hmmm".  Today, it was gently touching my chin and cheek while turning my head as you were trying to get my attention to tell me something...just like I do to you!  You even cock your head slightly when you talk to me...I'm sure I do the same.

I wonder, do you try to copy me when you're angry and that's why you behave/react the way you do?  How embarrassing.  I often feel as if I'm seeing myself displayed in front of me, and I must say, it's not attractive.  The things that you do that irritate me to no end -- is that really just a reflection of myself?

Aside from the physical quirks, I hope that, of all the things you see me do in the course of your life, that you mimic the good things and not just the bad.  I hope that you see the person I strive to be and not the person I'm not proud to be in "those moments".  I suppose I should begin to outwardly show you the person I strive to be -- I'm not sure how to share what's in my heart on a two year old level, but if I start now, maybe I'll be in the habit of it when you're old enough to know what I'm rambling about.  I'm not sure I was really warned about this side of parenting -- the scary side.  Sure, I knew it wasn't all easy, but WOW.  God has given me a lot of responsibility here; I'd better get it right.

You...

You...make me smile.  You...make me sing.  You...give me my heart's desires, even when I don't even realize I wanted them.  You...give me life.  You...create each beautiful day as a gift to us to enjoy.  You...are the Reason for all the wonderful things in my life.  You...make my heart happy.  You...give me peace when it is needed, strength when I am week, and gifts when I don't deserve them.  You...are in control of ALL things, Your plan for my life set in motion before I was even formed.  You...know better than I do, even though it's taken me years to finally "get" that.  You...are everything to me.  You...are my Father.  You...are guiding our lives according to Your perfect will.  You...have set me here, at this time, for this purpose.  You...make me speechless.

My Little Friend

I do so much moaning and groaning about my 2 year old, but the fact of the matter is...he's also my little friend these days.  I love to listen to him talk, suddenly bursting out in laughter, declaring himself (or something else) "fah-nee".  I love to watch his little diapered bottom running through the house in his skinny little pj's, dragging his blankie with him.  I even, on occasion, love when he takes my hand to drag me into the next room because he wants to "fwaaaaay" (play).  He gives random hugs and kisses, (though not as often as I'd like!) and I've even heard a "love you" a time or two in response to my own.  If I laugh at something that happens, he loves to rehash it all over again -- just like a certain family I know -- talking about exactly what had just happened and laughing the whole time.  I don't even mind getting fake sneezed on, as he's recently learned the term "bless you".

I'm madly in love with my little guy and remember the advice given to me so long ago by a dear woman at church.  She told me, "I'd better not ever hear you calling them the "terrible 2's", for they're the "TERRIFIC 2's".  I totally get that, Lois.  I totally get it.

Longing

Hello, Spring flowers.  Can't you see that I am longing for you?  Sure, I enjoy a good snow and a chilly winter day -- but this sun I've been seeing has given me the itch for you.  It's teasing me, pretending like it's there to make things grow into beautiful and colorful creations, but in reality, it's still cold and it wouldn't surprise me if I heard it's going to snow or something.  But it's always like this at this time of year -- it's the beginning of March.  Time for spring fever, time for longing to be outside, time to anxiously await the chance to be warmed by the sun, nearly time for baseball season.  In no time, this longing will pass and I'll be wishing for cooler temps again, but until then...please come soon!