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Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Ten and counting
Saturday, March 26, 2011
38
I'm 38 weeks today, which has me feeling...I'm not really sure. It's been a long 38 weeks, yet it's also flown by so quickly. I have friends who have never known pregnancy to last this long. I have friends who have gone much longer than this. I have people who check in on me, people who (jokingly) request that I avoid certain dates to give birth, and people who are just as excited and antsy as we are. They're wondering the same thing...is today the day? It's the number one question on my mind at all times. Some days, it consumes me. (Like...the last few days!)
In just a matter of time, I'll finally know what this little one looks like. Blonde hair? Brown hair? What color of eyes? In our situation, there are so many unknowns that the suspense is about to send me over the edge! I can't begin to guess about her features, her length, or even her size. All I can do is wait.
A good friend recently reminded me that my life will not ever be as it is right now ever again...so enjoy this time. It's great advice and I'm trying to do just that. To enjoy these last few days/weeks as they are, taking every day as God has chosen to give it to me.
In just a matter of time, I'll finally know what this little one looks like. Blonde hair? Brown hair? What color of eyes? In our situation, there are so many unknowns that the suspense is about to send me over the edge! I can't begin to guess about her features, her length, or even her size. All I can do is wait.
A good friend recently reminded me that my life will not ever be as it is right now ever again...so enjoy this time. It's great advice and I'm trying to do just that. To enjoy these last few days/weeks as they are, taking every day as God has chosen to give it to me.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Gonna Miss This
I'm waiting. I'm anxious. I'm impatient. And I'm content. Wait...what?! Content? I don't typically "wait" well for things (hence, the anxiousness and impatience), so I find it odd to look inside myself and find contentment too. I'm on the verge of complete fulfillment of a dream I have literally had since I was a little girl. It's so close, I can almost touch it. Any day now, it could be 100% fulfilled. I just don't know when that day might be. (According to my pregnancy ticker, it's only 19 days away!)
So why am I content? I'm just trying to slow myself down and remember to enjoy this time I still have. On the outside, it's just our family of 3. Me and my boy. A mother of one. On the inside, it's just her and me - and no one else. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to share her or that I'm just SO physically comfortable these days that I don't want her to come out. That's certainly not the case at all! It's just knowing that after she's born, so many things will be different.
My boy won't have the attention he used to. My love, hugs, kisses, arms, and lap will have to be shared. A bit of freedom that I have gained with a 3 year old will be lost as we re-enter the infant stage.
I'll never again feel her move inside of me. I'll never feel her stretch from head to toe and be able to complain at her that it hurts, insisting there's just NOT ENOUGH ROOM to do that. She won't be in there to flip-flop around or to practice kickboxing as I'm trying to fall asleep at night. I won't be the only one to feel her hiccups...like I do right now!
However, I will be able to introduce her to so many people who have been praying for her. I will be able to gaze into her eyes and feel her in my arms as I take in her sweet smells, knowing that because of Him and His faithfulness, my body carried her safely through a full-term pregnancy and brought her into this world. I'll be able to grant her big brother's current request to hold "baby sister" and allow him to give her kisses.
A song came to mind as I was thinking about all of this. As a mom, it's always "gotten me", bringing me to tears wherever I am as I realize that there are times I DO wish certain days/ages/phases would pass. But Trace Adkins is right -- I AM going to miss this. All of it.
So why am I content? I'm just trying to slow myself down and remember to enjoy this time I still have. On the outside, it's just our family of 3. Me and my boy. A mother of one. On the inside, it's just her and me - and no one else. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to share her or that I'm just SO physically comfortable these days that I don't want her to come out. That's certainly not the case at all! It's just knowing that after she's born, so many things will be different.
My boy won't have the attention he used to. My love, hugs, kisses, arms, and lap will have to be shared. A bit of freedom that I have gained with a 3 year old will be lost as we re-enter the infant stage.
I'll never again feel her move inside of me. I'll never feel her stretch from head to toe and be able to complain at her that it hurts, insisting there's just NOT ENOUGH ROOM to do that. She won't be in there to flip-flop around or to practice kickboxing as I'm trying to fall asleep at night. I won't be the only one to feel her hiccups...like I do right now!
However, I will be able to introduce her to so many people who have been praying for her. I will be able to gaze into her eyes and feel her in my arms as I take in her sweet smells, knowing that because of Him and His faithfulness, my body carried her safely through a full-term pregnancy and brought her into this world. I'll be able to grant her big brother's current request to hold "baby sister" and allow him to give her kisses.
A song came to mind as I was thinking about all of this. As a mom, it's always "gotten me", bringing me to tears wherever I am as I realize that there are times I DO wish certain days/ages/phases would pass. But Trace Adkins is right -- I AM going to miss this. All of it.
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