I often wonder, even worry, about the things I'm teaching you. I see you mimic me all the time. Sometimes it's a simple chin tap while saying, "hmmm". Today, it was gently touching my chin and cheek while turning my head as you were trying to get my attention to tell me something...just like I do to you! You even cock your head slightly when you talk to me...I'm sure I do the same.
I wonder, do you try to copy me when you're angry and that's why you behave/react the way you do? How embarrassing. I often feel as if I'm seeing myself displayed in front of me, and I must say, it's not attractive. The things that you do that irritate me to no end -- is that really just a reflection of myself?
Aside from the physical quirks, I hope that, of all the things you see me do in the course of your life, that you mimic the good things and not just the bad. I hope that you see the person I strive to be and not the person I'm not proud to be in "those moments". I suppose I should begin to outwardly show you the person I strive to be -- I'm not sure how to share what's in my heart on a two year old level, but if I start now, maybe I'll be in the habit of it when you're old enough to know what I'm rambling about. I'm not sure I was really warned about this side of parenting -- the scary side. Sure, I knew it wasn't all easy, but WOW. God has given me a lot of responsibility here; I'd better get it right.
i hear ya! when ever I hear Cohen make that frustrated growl, I hear myself completely! or when I hear Ashlyn scream at Leighton..."LEIGHTOOOON" that's me, when I watch Brennan shuts down, and the tears roll, so me, when I hear Hayden tell one of his siblings, that's annoying, my words, and when Leighton yells at the boys to stop, or make this uhhhhgggg, noise all me, it's embarrassing, to hear your flaws in your kids, and want to correct them for it, but I guess we should change us before we try to change them...right???
ReplyDeleteI don't know...it seems like changing them might be a little easier. LOL
ReplyDeleteLily is a spitting image of me when I'm angry/frustrated/etc. She's been showing me that a LOT lately too. *sigh*
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