Frustrated...or not.

Today I could find myself frustrated...but I'm not.  Instead, I have this song running through my head:

All I’ve got, All I am

All my dreams and All my plans

I’m holding back, I’m holding nothing back from you

I surrender it all, I lay it before you

For all of my days I’ll give you the glory

You caused me to see, My heart is divided

Lord, take all of me, ‘Cause I have decided

All I’ve got, All I am

All my dreams and All my plans

I’m holding back, I’m holding nothing back from you

Whatever it takes, I trust you completely

I’m here in your hands If you need to break me

You see, for me to really believe and feel this song, I have to give it ALL up to You.  Not just the parts I want to give up; not just the things I cannot control; not just the things I don't feel like doing or that I'm bored with...I'm holding NOTHING back from You.  

My Pastor just reminded me yesterday morning that You know me; You created me to be the way that I am.  You know this is not an easy thing for me to do, but I've come to realize there is no sense in me holding on any longer.  Before Christmas, they tell me we're behind 17 people on the waiting list.  Today she tells me there are about 20 people in front of us.  I know that doesn't add up.  It could frustrate me.  But I won't allow it to, because it is simply no longer my problem, it is Yours.  

I would love nothing more than to have yet another testimony of Your incredible hand moving in our lives.  A situation so miraculous that no one can deny it is a gift straight from You.  How can I wait expectantly for a gift when I keep snatching everything back and taking matters into my own Hands?  Forgive me for being human, and remind me every day that You are in control.  You know the plans You have for me.  You determine my steps.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made by You and with You, ALL things are possible.  For that, I am expectantly grateful!