Choices

Lately, I've been thinking a lot the choices we make in life.  Not so much my own choices in my own life, but more the choices I've seen others make and the consequences from those decisions.

For instance, imagine you're a man.  You're in your mid-30's, your now ex-wife just gave birth to your first son.  Eight years later, you and your 2nd wife have your first daughter together.  Son meets daughter and says he just wants to be with his mom from now on -- not you -- and you let him go.  I repeat.  You LET. HIM. GO. (??!!)

Now let's fast forward another 12+ years.  You're now in your 50's and you've been married to your 2nd wife for about 15 years and you have three children together, plus her oldest daughter, plus your son from the previous marriage, whom you no longer know anything about.  One day, you up and decide to go have a mid-life crisis or something and throw it all away.  Things end badly and relationships with those children, if they exist at all, are rocky.  Her oldest daughter (your step-daughter) has a son, but you are not a Grandpa to that child.  (Prime example of a relationship that no longer exists.)

Fast forward a couple more years.  Your 2nd son asks his mom about his half-brother he's never met so she decides to do some searching online.  Come to find out, he's taken his step-father's last name (not yours) and was married earlier this year.  You know nothing about either of these facts.  Remember the choices I referred to earlier?  I wonder how those decisions make you feel right about now.

I suppose I sound a bit bitter here.  I wouldn't really describe myself as bitter though.  What I feel is more, pity.  I can't fathom making these choices in life, throwing away everything that "might have been".  It just makes my heart sad when I think about all he's missed and all he could have had -- all we could have had as a family.

So I encourage anyone who might read this.  Before you make a life-altering decision, make sure you stop...really stop...and ask yourself, is it worth losing what might have been?  Chances are, you might not realize it until it's too late.

Too personal?  Sorry, just a bit of real life here -- I'll try to be more upbeat next time, folks.  One thing I will say though...thinking through all of this sure does make me love my husband even more than I already did!