Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Crib Sheets

I packed up all of your crib sheets today, for you are officially in a "big boy bed" now.  I have mixed feelings about this, as I'm sure most moms do.  I'm excited that you're so excited about your "beeh-bed" (big bed).  I'm excited that we're finally able to use the new bedding that is simply *perfect* in your room (typical girl here, remember?).  I'm excited that you're growing and developing and communicating and changing.  Yet...I'm sad that you're growing and developing and changing.

I shed just a couple tears when you and Daddy took your crib down as I remembered the hectic day that it was set up.  I also remember the day we brought it home, when your cousin no longer needed it, and we knew we would...some day.  At the time, it seemed like that day would never come. Now here I am, and it's back in the basement, resting from the abuse it took after a fourth child has slept in it.

It's so hard to believe that two years of my life has passed.  I pointed out a blankie sitting on the edge of the couch last night and asked your Daddy if he remembered when we didn't have things like that laying around our house.  (Of course, he did.)  Recent circumstances with a sweet friend have me reflecting back to those painful years.  Our situations are totally different, but pain is pain, especially when it comes to motherhood, and my heart aches for her.  As I think back to my own pain during that season in my life, I now know that I would not trade even a minute of it, for without that season, I would not have you in my life.  No other little boy would ever have been able to fill the hole in my heart like you did.  I love you so much and I'm thankful that God made us your forever family!


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Because He Lives

I randomly started singing this old song this morning, and oh how it touched me...

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow;
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives

I think I'll let that be the song of my heart today.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Just Dreaming



This is what I'm dreaming of today.  Someplace warm - peaceful - tranquil.  A place where the house, finances, and all of life's details are not first and foremost on my mind.  See those children playing in the water?  I'm dreaming that they are mine.  (I'm sure there's an adult nearby, or I wouldn't be able to be this peaceful as I watch them.)  But -- sigh -- it's January, it's cold, it's foggy outside, and I am not going to Hawaii...so for now, my dreams will have to satisfy me.

Sweet dreams to you!

(Image via Google search)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Pleasing and Honorable - Part 2

Once again, I find myself posting someone else's words, but it was surely a reminder that I needed in my heart.  This week, I'm doing a lot of reflecting and I'm sure I'll be seeing quite a few things that need to change...Lord, help me to be pleasing and honorable to You; a tool that You can easily use because I am so willing.  Help me to be more aware of and sensitive to others when You bring them across my path.


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“Where Everybody Knows Your Name…

January 13, 2010
Do you remember the tune?  It’s the catchy jingle from one of TV’s top shows of yester-year:
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name. …

Of course.  It’s the theme song to NBC’s Cheers. Can I ask you something?  When was the last time you exhibited the sort of sensitivity or acceptance evident at Boston’s favorite bar?  When’s the last time you noticed:
  • The mother who politely declines Sunday’s “let’s all go out for lunch after the service” invitation, citing a “prior engagement” that’s more fictional than her empty wallet is factual.
  • Elderly neighbors whose shuffling feet, failing hearing or fading eyesight are mistaken for ineptitude.
  • The vociferous co-worker whose loquacious ways mask loneliness as deep as the Marianas Trench.
  • The “got-it-all-together” pastor’s wife whose wayward child has chosen a bottle as his best friend – and she thinks she has to bear the burden alone.
  • The nervous, skittish neighbor whose interpersonal fences rival the Great Wall of China.  Each board is carefully crafted to hide her husband’s closet porn addiction.
  • The high schooler sporting glasses, a “tin grin,” acne or Wal-Mart labels instead of brand names – and the frostbitten scars of rejection.
  • The “angry mom” whom everyone snubs, never guessing that her external explosions mask searing internal pain.
These are the isolated, the lonely.  The rejected.  Who knows their names?  Where can they can go and see “our troubles are all the same?”  Who’s “always glad they came?”
Look around.  Ours is a tear-stained world.  Unfortunately, we Christians sometimes exude the warmth of a polar bear convention inside an igloo stuck in an iceberg.  The sad fact is that needy, hurting folks are often more welcome at the local bar than at the local church.
So, how many of these “nameless” folks has God placed in your path today?  How many of them are in your Bible study or small group?  Do you think they’re there by accident?  It’d be a lot easier to let someone else “know their name.”  To turn away and pretend you don’t see.  But God, who made these people, can’t.  And those of us who claim to be His followers shouldn’t, either.  So how ‘bout another “tune”?  The lyrics of the Lord Jesus Christ go like this:
… “Love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your mind.”
This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
– Matthew 22:37b-39 (NIV)
This is known as the “royal law,” because it’s the supreme law, the source of all other laws governing human relationships.  The idea is total devotion, first to God and then to others.
Here’s the second verse:
A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
By this all men will know that you are my disciples,
if you love one another.
– John 13:34, 25 (NIV)
Self-sacrificing, unconditional love over the long haul is the mark of our special bond in Christ.  It’s created by the Lord Jesus’ love for us.  And it’s meant to beshared.  (Incidentally, loving fellow believers—and by extension, the world–with this kind of love is an imperative, not a suggestion.)
When we share Christ’s love with others, ask yourself this: what would our world look like if we loved each other with total devotion?  Better yet, what if the place “where everybody knows your name” and “they’re always glad you came” wasn’tCheers but the Church?
***
By Kristine Lowder, author, blogger, professional mom, homeschooler, humorist and chief wrangler at the ‘ole testosterone ranch.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Frustrated...or not.

Today I could find myself frustrated...but I'm not.  Instead, I have this song running through my head:


All I’ve got, All I am
All my dreams and All my plans
I’m holding back, I’m holding nothing back from you

I surrender it all, I lay it before you
For all of my days I’ll give you the glory
You caused me to see, My heart is divided
Lord, take all of me, ‘Cause I have decided

All I’ve got, All I am
All my dreams and All my plans
I’m holding back, I’m holding nothing back from you
Whatever it takes, I trust you completely
I’m here in your hands If you need to break me

You see, for me to really believe and feel this song, I have to give it ALL up to You.  Not just the parts I want to give up; not just the things I cannot control; not just the things I don't feel like doing or that I'm bored with...I'm holding NOTHING back from You.  

My Pastor just reminded me yesterday morning that You know me; You created me to be the way that I am.  You know this is not an easy thing for me to do, but I've come to realize there is no sense in me holding on any longer.  Before Christmas, they tell me we're behind 17 people on the waiting list.  Today she tells me there are about 20 people in front of us.  I know that doesn't add up.  It could frustrate me.  But I won't allow it to, because it is simply no longer my problem, it is Yours.  

I would love nothing more than to have yet another testimony of Your incredible hand moving in our lives.  A situation so miraculous that no one can deny it is a gift straight from You.  How can I wait expectantly for a gift when I keep snatching everything back and taking matters into my own Hands?  Forgive me for being human, and remind me every day that You are in control.  You know the plans You have for me.  You determine my steps.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made by You and with You, ALL things are possible.  For that, I am expectantly grateful!


Friday, January 8, 2010

A Borrowed Lesson: My Job

I've been getting devotional emails from this site for a couple weeks now and this one in particular really touched me.  I don't necessarily 100% agree with the initial thoughts and feelings in the first part of this blog, but the last part is what made me stop and think I wanted to share this.  Oh, how true.

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God Speaks

January 8, 2010
You’ve never felt this way have you? Like you have 10 million things going on at one time? Like you are being pulled in 100 different directions? Like you just can’t seem to get a grip on things no matter how hard you try? Yeah. Me either. Not.


If I’ve learned anything in the past almost two years, it’s this: People don’t tell you the entire truth about marriage and motherhood.



Prior to the “I Do’s” it’s all, “Marriage is wonderful! It’s the greatest thing to ever happen to you. Being married isn’t hard at all…blah blah blah.” And that’s partly true. Marriage iswonderful and blissful and is by far the greatest thing to ever happen to me. But it’s definitely NOT simple and easy.


Prior to child-birth [especially during those "we are trying" months/weeks] it’s all, “Oh being a parent is the most rewarding thing in the world. There is nothing else like it. You won’t ever get tired of being with your baby…” Again, all of that is true, but aren’t these people leaving something out? Aren’t they forgetting to tell you a few things about these wonderful, happy, greatest moment of your life milestones? Ummm…yes. I would say so.


No one tells you before you get married that on the days your husband ticks you off beyond belief that you have to spend the rest of the night in the same house with him trying not to wring his neck. No one tells you that arguements…big ones…are going  to happen and you just have to deal with it. No one bothers to mention that the ‘honey moon’ period really does end, no matter how ‘hot and heavy’ you are for one another when you are dating.


No one bothers to mention the fact that babies don’t sleep the first several months of life. And that when they don’t sleep, you don’t sleep. Or that when you’re a mom, your life circles and revolves around your new baby for a long time. Or that, contrary to popular belief among people who don’t have kids, you really won’t always want to ‘do it’ with your husband after you’ve been up all night and day with a crying newborn. Nor do they tell you that said husband won’t always want to ‘do it’ with you either when he comes home tired from work and then has to encounter a frustrated exhausted wife and mother and a still crying baby.


Life changes when you get married. And it especially changes when you have a baby. It’s overwhelming. It can honestly drive you nuts if you don’t have a place to filter all of your worries and concerns. Lucky for me, I discovered blogging prior to having little man so I haven’t had to undergo expensive therapy sessions to cure my moderate insanity {yet}. But it can be frustrating. And exhausting. And completely and totally nerve wracking.


I woke up this morning after spending most of the day Monday & Tuesday attempting to put my house back in order after the holiday madness, to find my house a disaster. Again. Earlier this week I took down the Christmas lights and decorations [though the actual tree is still standing naked in the corner of my living room], cleaned the kitchen like a mad woman, scrubbed the bathroom where everyone was in and out while they were here, and put away all of the toys, clothes, and junk items that were just lying around. And I wake up this morning to a house that looks as if it hadn’t been cleaned in over a month. The dishes were piled up in the sink, little mans toys were all over the place, papers were piled up on the bar…it was awful. And I temporarily lost it.


You know how us moms can go into this sort of panic mode? Where you are running around like a crazy person just let out of the nut house trying to deal with everything all at one time. I snapped at my son, who isn’t even old enough to be snapped at yet. I rammed by little toe into the door frame while I was trying to carry dishes to the sink, allowing a few not so nice four letter words to slip out of my mouth. And I knocked over a cup of Gatorade…all over the kitchen floor. Which required immediate clean up so it didn’t get sticky-which didn’t prove easy to do when I was having to use one hand to hold my beloved little mess maker away from the puddling pile of juice he wanted so badly to splash in.


Finally, I threw my hands up and sat down. I got ill and just said to myself that I wasn’t going to do anything. The mess could just sit there and someone else could clean it. [Not that that would EVER happen because there is no way I could just let it sit...that's not in my blood. It drives me nuts.] Low and behold it was during this fiasco that the good Lord decided it was the perfect time to speak to me.


It utterly amazes me the ways God can talk to us if we just take the time to slow down and listen. God is really quite creative, I have to give him that. Because this morning, the big spoke to me through a vegetable.



Yep. These guys. Bob and Larry. Rather than sending messages to children all across the world this morning, they were talking to me. A 20-something mom who felt at the end of her rope this morning. The message wasn’t anything complex {I mean, really. We are talking about a childrens TV show with talking vegetables. How complex could it be?} It wasn’t like they were teaching on Leviticus or anything. Little man was watching “Gideon: Tuba Warrior” and I was only halfway paying attention to it. But the part that I did hear was this:


“God, you could have chosen anyone else for this job. But you didn’t. You chose me. Thank you.”


What a great prayer and an eye opener. There was Gideon, about to go to war against an army that was so much bigger than his. He was afraid…probably terrified of the outcome.  But in this time of uncertainty and weariness, he took the time to remember that God had specifically chosen him for the job at hand. How awesome is that? To know that, no matter how overwhelming and frustrating life gets, that our Lord has chosen us for the very task at hand.


God picked me out of all of the other women on this Earth to be partnered with my husband. To battle life with, the enjoy things with, to love and cherish. Me. He chose me out of all of the other moms out there to bless with this little boy. No one else. He didn’t give anyone else on this Earth and Josh or a Noah like mine. He gave them to me, and me to them. What a humbling realization. That no matter what happens in my life-whether it be in our marriage or within our realm of parenthood, I was chosen for this job. I was hand selected by the Lord himself to be here, right now, with this man and little boy.


I know things happen and that life gets in the way, but right now as I write this, I am making myself a promise: to not let the little things keep me from remembering that this is my calling. This is where God wants me right now. He wants me heree, in Florida, in this house, cleaning up this mess or that mess. He wants me here cooking my husband and son a good meal. He wants me here keeping the laundry washed and the house tidy for my husband who works to keep a roof over our heads and food on our table. He wants me here, blogging about what he’s teaching me with each of you in hopes that I may offer encouragement. This is what I am here for. God could have chosen anyone else to do this job. But he didn’t. He chose me. And for that I am thankful.


Thursday, January 7, 2010

Laughing At Yourself

Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself.

Like...when you, at 5' 3" (yes, I'm rounding up), remember a picture from this morning.  Your 35 pound, 37.5" two year old is cold and tired of being outside.  Do the math...37.5" is well over half your height.  Remember, he's heavy too.  You're both so bundled up and cozy that it's difficult to move like you normally do.  However, he refuses to go indoors and is flailing his body all around as most terrific two year olds do.  You're forced to pick him up and carry him inside, up your hill of a driveway, in the snow, while he's flailing, all bundled up like the Michelin man...

Oh, the sight the neighbors must have seen this morning.  What else can you do but laugh?