Changes

I'm not gonna lie -- we've had a tough week, you and me.  Daddy was home with us for three days in a row because of the holiday and while I enjoyed it, I suffered miserably after he went back to work.  You see, you're quite the "Daddy's boy" these days.  If we both come into your room in the morning, your eyes light up when you see him.  If I happen to reach you first, you shove me out of the way because I'm blocking your view of "him".  I've said before that you have to have tough skin to be a mom, but I'm not sure I've ever quite felt that as strongly as I do after this week.  You greeted me yesterday morning by asking, "Da da?  Da Da?  Da Da?", gave me a shove when I tried to pick you up, then turned your back on me in your crib and gave me a dirty look.  More of the same throughout the day yesterday, so I was quite relieved when Daddy came home last night...just to get a break from the harsh attitude radiating from your little body.  I admit, I did not have a "happy heart" last night.

I wasn't sure what to expect this morning, but sucked up my pride as I walked into your room.  I was greeted with a big, silly grin as you proceeded to play with me like we usually do before I get you out of bed.  I waited to see how the morning would go...and it's been amazing.  You came to me in the kitchen, tugged on my pants and took my hand as you pulled me into the living room with you.  I wondered what you wanted as we went to the couch...and then you climbed up into my lap.  We sat there watching Sesame Street for a good 30 minutes, just cuddling and talking about everything we saw.  You even laid your head on my shoulder a few times and actually squeezed my arm to hug me.  That was a first!   *bliss*

During this time, I began to look at you -- to really look at you and thought about all of the changes in you I've been seeing lately...

For instance, your eyes.  They've started to lose that baby blue color in certain lights.  The gold sunburst in the center has started to take over and they're starting to look a little more green.  (Daddy says your eyes look just like mine...I love how God works that way.)

As I stared at your eyes, I began to notice you were sucking your fingers like you often do when you're relaxing.  I was surprised to see you're starting to get hairy knuckles.  You've always been a hairy little guy, never losing that baby fuzz on your back, but we've recently noticed that it's becoming more and more prominent on your legs too.

Thinking about your fuzzy little legs led me to your feet.  I love those "fat little feets".  I took you to buy new shoes yesterday and was amazed to find out that these feet of yours are actually "extra wide" AND "tall"...meaning...we have a problem when it comes to shoes.  I learned yesterday that the size you need to wear is also known as the same size for a 3-4 year old.  Just a reminder, you're not even 2 yet...but at least you're consistent.  The last time we saw the doctor, he commented that you're about the size of a 3 year old.  Again, a reminder, you're NOT EVEN 2 YET.

The taller you get, the more your belly is disappearing on me.  Sure, it's still round like a Buddha belly after you eat but it doesn't take long to deflate again.  You've been more than half my height for a while now and your Daddy loves to think about how long it will be before you just pass me up.  At this rate, it's just around the corner!

I have so much fun with you these days, but I find myself watching you sleep at night as you wildly take up the majority of your crib, and remembering the tiny little baby we bundled up and put into that same crib so many nights ago.  My heart hurts because those days are long gone, yet my mind soars at the excitement of what's to come.

I can't wait to play catch with you.  I can't wait to joke around with you and for you to tease me back.  I can't wait to sit and watch you play sports...not that we'll force you to...but because I know you will, you're already just that kind of kid.  However...I can wait for the difficulties and pressures of friends you're bound to face at school.  I'm not ready for those sort of things yet, for you're still my baby boy.  In a way, I'll bet you always will be.  It's a good thing we have your Daddy around to guide me in how to just "let you be a boy" or I'd probably try to swaddle you in a blanket every night to keep you "little" forever.  (JUST kidding.)

I sure do love you, my little man.  You've changed my life, you've changed my world, and you've changed me.  How did I get so lucky that God picked ME, of all people, to be your mom?  He must love me too.