My Heart

Psalm 138:2-3, 8
...I praise Your name for Your unfailing love and faithfulness; for Your promises are backed by all the honor of Your name.  As soon as I pray, You answer me; You encourage me by giving me strength.
...The Lord will work out His plans for my life -- for Your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.

Psalm 139:1-6, 9, 13-17
O Lord, You have examined my heart and know everything about me.  You know when I sit down or stand up.  You know my thoughts even when I'm far away.  You see me when I travel and when I rest at home.  You know everything I do.  You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.  You go before me and follow me.  You place your hand of blessing on my head.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!
...If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, EVEN THERE Your hand will guide me, and Your strength will support me.
...You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb.  Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!  Your workmanship is marvelous -- how well I know it.  You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.  You saw me before I was born.  EVERY DAY of my life was recorded in Your book.  EVERY MOMENT was laid out before a single day had passed.  How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God.  They cannot be numbered!

These are the things in my heart this morning.  After reading all of these scriptures, how can I be anxious?  How can I wonder?  How can I even consider fear?  Nothing in my life is a surprise to God, for He created me for such a time as this.  If I believe that He goes before me and follows me, then I'm covered from both sides.  Life is going according to His plan and He already knows the outcome, so I continue to REST in Him.  What else can I do?

Perfect. Simply perfect.

I shared with a friend of mine that I have begun to feel a bit of worry set in.  I can not force situations and God can put a stop to anything, no matter how pushy I can get.  I know this.  So why do I feel worried that this is not of Him?  Am I not worthy?  Do I not deserve this?  Did I not have enough faith?  Of course I am, I do, and I (still) do.  It's silly, really, for me to even go down this path.

She told me about a message she's heard recently.  Basically, it was about resting.  There are some things you just need to quit praying about for a while and REST in the fact that God is in control.  As soon as she said that, I knew it's what my soul needs right now.  I've made signs to remind myself...

Rest in Him...
God has provided;
He has a plan for us;
He knows what He's doing!

There are so many things swarming around my head right now -- details, plans, concerns, excitement, dates, ups and downs, questions...what I truly need to do is rest in Him.  He knows me better than I know myself; He created me.  He knows what I can handle and won't give me anything more than I can bear, for He is my refuge and my strength.  I hold unswervingly to the hope I profess, for He who promised is faithful! (Hebrews 10:23 NIV)  So 'adios', worry...I'm leaving you behind to go curl up and rest in my Father's arms.

Entirely

I've referenced this scripture before, but the reality of it hit me, once again, today.

You are entirely faithful.

- Psalm 89:8 -

You never cease to amaze me.  Just when I've started to resolve that I'm about to be taught a lesson in patience, You give what I've fervently been asking for.  I may not feel worthy, but I certainly feel grateful.

Memorial Day

Today, I'm stopping to remember our troops.  Thank you to those who are fighting, to those who are about to depart, to those we have already lost, and to the families and loves ones who are longing to see them again.  Without you, we would not have the freedom we have.  There are not sufficient words to describe my gratefulness.

Eleven

A glance, a smile, became a friendship, grew into love...

This was on the front of the program when, eleven years ago today, I married my best friend.  He makes me laugh and he makes me smile.  He makes me feel more special than anyone else in this world ever could.  With one embrace in his arms, all of my problems disappear for that instant.  I'm so in love with this man that sometimes, I just don't know what to do with myself!

These eleven years have seen many joys and - unfortunately - heartache as well, but we have come out even stronger and more in love with each other because of it.  (How many people can say that?!)  I look at the pictures above (we were just KIDS!!) and I remember all of the plans, hopes, and dreams I had for our future.  Things certainly did not turn out as I expected, but I'm forever grateful for all those reasons they're not the same, for it's created the beautiful life we have together now.  I look forward to what the next year brings our {growing} family and can't wait to see the miraculous way God shows Himself to us once again.

I remain...forever his...faithfully.

And Then the Peace Came

"In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul."   - Psalm 94:19 (NKJV)

I woke yesterday morning to a dog barking at 5:45am after a full night of tossing and turning. The a/c kicked on in our room to drown out the sound, but I never went back to sleep after that.  It was early.  Way too early to be moving around the hotel room and waking my hubby on his birthday.  We weren't leaving until 8:30am and here I am, awake.  I find my flip flops, throw my hair in a (messy?) pony tail, and stumbled down the hall to get some coffee.  (I never really even looked in the mirror; I'm sure I was quite the sight to see!)  Coffee mission accomplished, making no eye contact with anyone, I drag myself back to our room.  As I was packing the night before, I thought to bring my Bible with me.  I don't normally bring it on short trips, but I've really been keeping up with the 2 year plan, so I figured "why not".  

The above scripture came to mind as I was thinking about the morning so I scrounged around for the book light and sat down in the dark with my coffee.  Remember, I do not choose what I read in a day; it's already laid out for me.  I ran across a scripture that, in the course of my life's journey, has been read many times -- Psalm 113:9.  "He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother."  I'm not sure I've ever read this in the NLT before, so "a family" really hit me.  Yes, I do have a family now, but the word "family" makes me think of MORE...more than one child.  This whole time I've wanted obvious confirmation.  Did I really just get slapped upside the head with it and still walked away in doubt?  

I go on to finish my reading and start listening to "None but Jesus" (with earbuds in, of course, remember the birthday boy is still sleeping!):

...In the chaos, in confusion 

I know You're Sovereign still

In the moment of my weakness 

You give me grace to do Your will...

And there it was; the peace came.  In the multitude of my anxieties within me (there were many!), His comforts delight my soul.  How could I ever do this without Him?  I'd rather not find out.

Mother's Day

...to the women who have been mothers for many years
...to the women who have lost
...to the women who are new mothers
...to the women who have given to another
...to the women who are currently called "Mommy"

...to the women who are about to become mothers

...to the women who long to be mothers

It's hard to believe that I spent so many years dreading this holiday and now I find myself celebrating my third Mother's Day already.  How time flies!  Thanks, again, God for the most amazing gift You have ever given us.

Happy Mother's Day everyone!