Taken for Granted

It occurred to me last night that there are things in life that I take for granted.  Surprisingly, the biggest one is my son.  My husband and I had just gotten in bed after both checking on our son, sound asleep in his big boy bed.  We were talking about how much we love that little guy, when it hit me like a ton of bricks.  For someone who shed so many tears for so many years to become a mom...lately, I sure have not been acting like I appreciate this gift that's been given to me!  Sure, I can blame it on being sick for what feels like an eternity.  I can blame it on him being sick for a while, reoccurring ear infections, not sleeping well, or just "being 2".  I can say that my attitude isn't right because I haven't been working out, releasing those "happy endorphins" (as a wise woman once recommended to me...it's true!).  I can come up with a very long list, but the truth is, there is not ONE good excuse in this world.  This little boy was literally dropped into my arms from Heaven for me to love, teach, appreciate, mold, and send out to live his own life.  If someone gave you a precious gift, you wouldn't just carelessly toss it aside.  You'd put it in a place of honor; a place where it could not be damaged or broken.  You would take pride in caring for it.  It would give you joy when you looked at it, reminding you of how sweet the Giver was to think of you.  (For the record, I do not carelessly toss my son aside or put him in a place where he could be damaged or broken!)

Thank you, God for my gift.  Please help me to remember the path that led me here to him.  Even in my times of being "a mother of a strong 2 year old", help me to remember exactly what he means to me and how much I love him, even when he's screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO!" at me for the 968th time that hour.  For even then, he's still the best thing that has happened to us.

The Luckiest

Ben Folds has a song, "The Luckiest" and it always makes me think of my husband.  The reason for this is that it's true; I am the luckiest.  It's sad that it takes him being away to make me remember just how much I have in him.  He spoils me, really.  So many husbands and fathers just leave everything up to the wife/mom to take care of, but not mine.  He gives as much of himself that he can to us both of us.  He actually wants to be involved and to do things for our son.  He misses us when he's away.  I'm a blessed woman and when it comes down to it, I really could not ask for more in a man.  I sure do love him!

Bad Days

Sometimes I think I'm having a bad day...or a bad week...or a bad "season" in life.  My boy is sick and tired, yet he doesn't sleep as long as he needs to.  Enter "extremely irritable two year old".  Combine that moody little boy with a mom who has compassion for a while...but as the virus goes on...begins to feel some symptoms of her own.  I now understand the tired, yet not sleeping well aspect he's experiencing.  I understand the crankiness due to a raw throat.  I'm still not to the point of declaring myself "sick" but I think I'm certainly on the road to it, though I'm not going down without a fight!  Coincidentally, the hubby is feeling the same way.  Not good, considering he's about to go on a business trip for a few days.  I woke up this morning, wallowing in my sour attitude and sat down with my daily Bible reading.  Matthew 27 talks about when Pilate asked the crowd who they wanted him to release, Barabbas or Jesus.  The crowd demands Barabbas, while regarding Jesus they shout, "Crucify Him!"  It goes on in verses 27-31 to say: "Some of the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into their headquarters and called out the entire regiment. They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him. They wove thorn branches into a crown and put it on his head, and they placed a reed stick in his right hand as a scepter. Then they knelt before him in mockery and taunted, “Hail! King of the Jews!” And they spit on him and grabbed the stick and struck him on the head with it. When they were finally tired of mocking him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him again. Then they led him away to be crucified."

Totally different circumstances than my own, but it made me pause and realize...maybe things aren't so bad.  Anything I've gone through this week and the week to come are nothing compared to what Jesus endured for me.  I think I'll survive.

I'm Good

I've decided that I'm good with where I am...for now.  I've begun to realize that I actually like it.  My one child is starting to understand and be understood a little more each day.  I have the time and energy (in theory) to play with him when he wants me to.  I sleep through the night, every night, with the exception of an occasional "situation".  I do not really need to plan ahead (as much) around meal times or make sure I've brought the necessary items for said meal times.  No pacifiers to lose or find on a dirty floor.  No car seat to lug in and out of the car, nor do I often need to carry anyone besides myself; all I have to do is hold a precious little hand as we walk.  All I need when I leave the house is a sippy cup, a diaper, a pack of wipes, and 2 cars -- always 2 cars.  I am the happy recipient of the sweetest little kisses and hugs, and love to hear the cutest little voice calling, "Ma Ma?" from the other room.

My life is great.  It's a life that is not in my control - but it's better that way.  Hmm, I just realized this probably means everything is about to drastically change...

Crib Sheets

I packed up all of your crib sheets today, for you are officially in a "big boy bed" now.  I have mixed feelings about this, as I'm sure most moms do.  I'm excited that you're so excited about your "beeh-bed" (big bed).  I'm excited that we're finally able to use the new bedding that is simply *perfect* in your room (typical girl here, remember?).  I'm excited that you're growing and developing and communicating and changing.  Yet...I'm sad that you're growing and developing and changing.

I shed just a couple tears when you and Daddy took your crib down as I remembered the hectic day that it was set up.  I also remember the day we brought it home, when your cousin no longer needed it, and we knew we would...some day.  At the time, it seemed like that day would never come. Now here I am, and it's back in the basement, resting from the abuse it took after a fourth child has slept in it.

It's so hard to believe that two years of my life has passed.  I pointed out a blankie sitting on the edge of the couch last night and asked your Daddy if he remembered when we didn't have things like that laying around our house.  (Of course, he did.)  Recent circumstances with a sweet friend have me reflecting back to those painful years.  Our situations are totally different, but pain is pain, especially when it comes to motherhood, and my heart aches for her.  As I think back to my own pain during that season in my life, I now know that I would not trade even a minute of it, for without that season, I would not have you in my life.  No other little boy would ever have been able to fill the hole in my heart like you did.  I love you so much and I'm thankful that God made us your forever family!

Because He Lives

I randomly started singing this old song this morning, and oh how it touched me...

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow;

Because He lives, all fear is gone;

Because I know He holds the future,

And life is worth the living,

Just because He lives

I think I'll let that be the song of my heart today.

Just Dreaming

This is what I'm dreaming of today.  Someplace warm - peaceful - tranquil.  A place where the house, finances, and all of life's details are not first and foremost on my mind.  See those children playing in the water?  I'm dreaming that they are mine.  (I'm sure there's an adult nearby, or I wouldn't be able to be this peaceful as I watch them.)  But -- sigh -- it's January, it's cold, it's foggy outside, and I am not going to Hawaii...so for now, my dreams will have to satisfy me.

Sweet dreams to you!

(Image via Google search)