Step by Step, Stone by Stone

There are times where I tend to lose focus.  I tend to forget that nothing is a surprise to God and I unknowingly let my mind -- fear -- take over.

I had a voice mail this morning that my bloodwork came back and my progesterone levels are not high enough for me to stop my injections; they want me to continue to do them for another week.  (My estrogen levels looked good, so I should be able to stop taking my pill though!)  Instead of calling the nurse back right away, my mind ran wild for a bit.  I began to wonder if there was reason to be concerned.  I began to panic, just a little bit, for fear of the unknown.  I began to wonder if we told everyone too soon and if something horrible was going to happen.  It's amazing how the mind can go from peace to complete chaos in a matter of seconds.  I decided I should call the nurse to ask about all of this before I got further in my panic.   She said that when they're adjusting the dosage like this, it's not uncommon for the levels to go down like mine have.  At 12 weeks, the placenta starts to make it's own progesterone and the levels start to go back up.  {A little fun fact for you!} I'll be 12 weeks tomorrow.  Just to be safe, she's pretty sure he'll want to continue my injections for another week.

I sat down to re-read and re-confess the section regarding miscarriage in my book.  (It seems like I have gone to that section a lot in the last few months...it's amazing how quickly someone who thinks they have faith can be overrun by emotions and circumstances!  Thankfully, it doesn't ever take long to realize it.)  As I was reading this morning, I remembered my vision from what feels like an eternity ago.  Step by step, stone by stone, He guides me down this path He has laid out for our growing family.  He's right here with me.  I do not have to fear for these results, for this baby, for any of this.  He has not given me the spirit of fear, but the spirit of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)  I can't imagine how people go through life without God, but I sure wouldn't want to try it!  He's the only reason I'm left standing some days.

Side note: I don't plan to make every single post about pregnancy for the next 6 months, but it's where I am in my life, so it's what you get for now.  I'll try to throw in some other things once in a while so you're not sick of me talking about it!  :)


**UPDATE**  My doctor officially said I can stop taking my estrogen pills AND, while we still have to do the progesterone injections for another 5 days, I only have to do it ONCE a day now!  Small victories.  :)