"In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul." - Psalm 94:19 (NKJV)
I woke yesterday morning to a dog barking at 5:45am after a full night of tossing and turning. The a/c kicked on in our room to drown out the sound, but I never went back to sleep after that. It was early. Way too early to be moving around the hotel room and waking my hubby on his birthday. We weren't leaving until 8:30am and here I am, awake. I find my flip flops, throw my hair in a (messy?) pony tail, and stumbled down the hall to get some coffee. (I never really even looked in the mirror; I'm sure I was quite the sight to see!) Coffee mission accomplished, making no eye contact with anyone, I drag myself back to our room. As I was packing the night before, I thought to bring my Bible with me. I don't normally bring it on short trips, but I've really been keeping up with the 2 year plan, so I figured "why not".
The above scripture came to mind as I was thinking about the morning so I scrounged around for the book light and sat down in the dark with my coffee. Remember, I do not choose what I read in a day; it's already laid out for me. I ran across a scripture that, in the course of my life's journey, has been read many times -- Psalm 113:9. "He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother." I'm not sure I've ever read this in the NLT before, so "a family" really hit me. Yes, I do have a family now, but the word "family" makes me think of MORE...more than one child. This whole time I've wanted obvious confirmation. Did I really just get slapped upside the head with it and still walked away in doubt?
I go on to finish my reading and start listening to "None but Jesus" (with earbuds in, of course, remember the birthday boy is still sleeping!):
...In the chaos, in confusion
I know You're Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will...
And there it was; the peace came. In the multitude of my anxieties within me (there were many!), His comforts delight my soul. How could I ever do this without Him? I'd rather not find out.
I sent a text yesterday but didn't hear back so I'm not sure that you got it. I hope your trip was nice. Can't wait to catch up. - R
ReplyDeletewhy do you always make me cry? for some reason, more then I might ever fully understand, You are always om my heart,in my prayers and thoughts! I have such faith, that you will get your "bigger" family, I know that God has put me as a person in your life, maybe just to pray, maybe to stand up for what He has for you, but He's always using you, more then you know, as I've prayed for you, I've seen Him answer, and it strengthens my love, faith for Him, so thankyou for trusting, you have touched so many lives, by placing everything in His hands. I can't wait to see the fullness of His Glory through your family.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I love seeing things through your eyes. I love the bible verses too. I needed that post. Faith is something not easy for me, servanthood is something I desire to do, and yet I find myself slipping into my old ways. I find you to be an excellent example and to me you seem to have everything of faith under control and you understand. I do not hardly ever. I think God is using you for more than you know...It is never easy to just be guided. You make it look tolerable and easy and a struggle too. That makes it more realtable to me, since I struggle too. You are often in my thoughts. :) Oh and I am getting that book! Thanks again for the suggestion.
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